Revving Up For Another Kumsitz

The smell of kumsitz is in the air. It's coming, coming!

Wow, just had to go fun there for a second. Ahem --- excuse me :)

But really. People have been asking me about it, and I'm feeling excited about it. I already have a whole list of people looking forward. I was thinking of doing it ON Lag Ba'Omer for the end of the day and into the night, but I already have tentative plans, so it may not work. How funny, I think I had the same plans (in a very different form) last year.

I can hardly wait to listen to music again. I'm itching, thrashing inside. It's tugging at my insides a little, in need of a good soothing melody, especially because this is not the easiest time for me, in some significant ways.

But this is also a good time. Challenging. Oh boy challenging, but good too. Hoping for some more and more good to go with it.

BANG ON A CAN MARATHON

Saturday, June 2TBD - Sunday, June 3Winter Garden
MUSIC
River to River at the World Financial Center presents
BANG ON A CAN MARATHON20th ANNIVERSARY

In 1987, the first Bang on a Can Marathon in New York City exploded many of the myths surrounding contemporary music. This year we'll blow open the gates even further with a 26 hour round-the-clock super-mix of mind-boggling, genre-defying music by pioneering artists from around the globe. Bring your ears and come prepared to have a blast!KIDS CAN TOO!Sunday, June 2 :: 2pm :: Battery Park City Esplanade PlazaBring your kids, hang out along the river and hear an awesome set of fun and unusual music featuring Bang on a Can electric guitarist and instrument inventor Mark Stewart, the central Asian sound wizards Mashriq from Uzbekistan, Talujon Percussion Quartet and instruments you've never seen or heard before!

BANG ON A CAN MARATHONSaturday, June 2, 8pm-Sunday, June 3, 10pm :: Winter Garden26 hours of ear-twisting music featuring the following artists:

ComposersJohn Luther Adams, Louis Andriessen, Chris Adler, Derek Bermel, Jeffrey Brooks, Don Byron, Mary Ellen Childs, Mark Dancigers, Franco Donatoni, Brian no, John Fitz Rogers, David R. Gordon, Michael Gordon, Judd Greenstein, John King, Phil Kline, David Lang, David Longstreth, Alvin Lucier, Missy Mazzoli, Thurston Moore, Steve Reich, James Tenney, Matt Tierney, JG Thirlwell, Galina Ustvolskaya, Edgar Varese, Lois V Vierk, Julia Wolfe, Evan Ziporyn and more.PerformersBang on a Can All-Stars, Iva Bittová, Bagpipe Orchestra, Robert Black, Don Byron, The Clogs, Dälek, David Cossin, Dirty Projectors, Eighth Blackbird, Ethel, Dominic Frasca, Grand Valley State University New Music Ensemble, Michael Harrison, Hartt Bass Band, International Contemporary Ensemble (ICE), Vijay Iyer, Kyaw Kyaw Naing, Manorexia, Mashriq, Meehan/Perkins Duo, Patti Monson, Now Ensemble, Odd Appetite, Milind Raikar, Real Quiet, red fish blue fish, Steven Schick, Mark Stewart, Mike Svoboda , TACTUS, Talujon Percussion Quartet, World Saxophone Quartet, and more.FilmsBill Morrison and Matt Mullican

from: http://www.worldfinancialcenter.com/calendar/

Google This

This was forwarded to me by a friend.

Subject: Fw: Google this
Take 60 seconds to do this - it's worth the effort.
1. go to www.google.com
2. click on "maps"
3. click on "get directions"
4. type "New York" in the first box (the "from" box)
5. type "London" in the second box (the "to" box)(hit get directions)
6. scroll down to step #24

LOL!! :)

Healing Relationships

This website and semi-diary of healing and recovery is a 'must read' for anyone who wants to grow to love themself and develop healing relationships with others.

http://www.joy2meu.com/Relationship.html

Abuse in the Frum Community

I read some heartwrenching stories about this and might start a topic on this with articles, to provide more education.

Nice Guys - Why Do They End Last?

I read this excellent article. The name of the blog is not so much my taste, but I loved reading this article. It has so much insight, and gives me even some insight into myself and why being nice is sometimes not to my benefit...

Why "Nice Guys" are often such LOSERS

written by: http://www.heartless-bitches.com/rants/niceguys/niceguys.shtml

You hear it all the time: "He was such a NICE Guy, and she's such a Heartless Bitch for dumping him."

I get letters from self-professed Nice Guys, complaining that women must WANT to be treated like shit, because THEY, the "Nice Guy" have failed repeatedly in relationships. This is akin to the false logic that "Whales are mammals. Whales live in the sea. Therefore, all mammals live in the sea."

If you have one bad relationship after another, the only common denominator is YOU. Think about it.

What's wrong with Nice Guys? The biggest problem is that most Nice Guys (tm) are hideously insecure. They are so anxious to be liked and loved that they do things for other people to gain acceptance and attention, rather than for the simply pleasure of giving. You never know if a Nice Guy really likes you for who you are, or if he has glommed onto you out of desperation because you actually paid some kind of attention to him.

Nice Guys exude insecurity -- a big red target for the predators of the world. There are women out there who are "users" -- just looking for a sucker to take advantage of. Users home-in on "Nice Guys", stroke their egos, take them for a ride, add a notch to their belts, and move on. It's no wonder so many Nice Guys complain about women being horrible, when the so often the kind of woman that gets attracted to them is the lowest form of life...

Self-confident, caring, decent-hearted women find "Nice Guys" to be too clingy, self-abasing, and insecure.

Nice Guys go overboard. They bring roses to a "lets get together for coffee" date. They try to buy her affections with presents and fancy things. They think they know about romance, but their timing is all wrong, and they either come-on too strong, too hard and too fast, OR, they are so shy and unassertive, that they hang around pretending to be "friends", in the hope that somehow, someway, they will get the courage up to ask her out for a "date".

They are so desperate to please that they put aside their own needs, and place the object of their desire on a pedestal. Instead of appreciating her, they worship her. We are only human, and pedestals are narrow, confining places to be -- not to mention the fact that we tend to fall off of them.

They cling to her, and want to be "one" with her for fear that if she is out of sight, she may disappear or become attracted to someone else. A Nice Guy often has trouble with emotional intimacy, because he believes that if she learns about the REAL person inside, she will no longer love him.

Nice Guys are always asking HER to make the decisions. They think it's being equitable, but it puts an unfair burden of responsibility on her, and gives him the opportunity to blame her if the decision was an unwise one.

Nice Guys rarely speak up when something bothers them, and rarely state clearly what it is they want, need and expect. They fear that any kind of conflict might spell the end of the relationship. Instead of comprimising and negotiating, they repeatedly "give in". When she doesn't appreciate their sacrifice, they will complain that, "Everything I did, I did for her.", as if this somehow elevates them to the status of martyrs. A woman doesn't want a martyr. She wants an equal, caring, adult partner.

Nice Guys think that they will never meet anyone as special as she is. They use their adoration as a foundation for claiming that "no one will ever love her as much as I do." Instead of being a profound statement of their devotion, this is a subtle, but nasty insult. It is akin to saying to her: "You are a difficult person, and only *I* can ever truly love you, so be thankful I'm here."

The nice guy -needs- to believe that he is the best person for the object of his desires, because otherwise his insecurities will overrun him with jealousies and fear. The truth of the matter is that there are many people out there who can be a good match for her. We rarely stop loving people we truly care about. Even if we no longer continue the relationship, the feelings will continue... But love isn't mutually exclusive. We can (and do) love many people in our lives, and romantic love is really no different. Though he may love her immensely, there will likely be other people who have loved her just as much in her past, and will love her just as much in the future. The irony of it all is: "Who would want to go out with someone who was inherintly unlovable anyways?"

More than loving the woman in his life, a Nice Guy NEEDS her. "She is my Life, my only source of happiness..." YECH! What kind of a burden is that to place on her? That SHE has to be responsible for YOUR happiness? Get a grip!

Another mistake Nice Guys make is to go after "hard luck" cases. They deliberately pick women with neuroses, problems, and personality disorders, because Nice Guys are "helpers". A Nice Guy thinks that by "helping" this woman, it will make him a better, more lovable person. He thinks it will give him a sense of accomplishment, and that she will appreciate and love him more, for all his efforts and sacrifice. He is usually disappointed by the results.

This ultimately boils down to the fact that Nice Guys don't like themselves. Is it any wonder women don't like them? In order to truly love someone else, you must first love yourself. Too often Nice Guys mistake obsession for "love".

Get this Guys: INSECURITY ISN'T SEXY. IT'S A TURNOFF.

You don't have to be an ego-inflated, arrogant jerk. You just have to LIKE yourself. You have to know what you want out of life, and go after it. Only then will you be attractive to the kind of woman with whom a long-term relationship is possible.

http://www.heartless-bitches.com/rants/niceguys/niceguys.shtml

Introverts - Gaining Energy From Within

Here is an interesting article that was published on Frumster about being an introvert.

http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/200303/rauch